Penny's Corner

Geez Louise I’ve never written in a blog before! I’ve heard that it’s really super cool and only really neat people have blogs that have really important things to say… so I’m pretty honored that someone would ask me to share my thoughts with the internet world. But you know, I’m a pretty lucky girl and I’ve come a long way. My Dad raised me to be a pretty straight arrow, whenever he was around of course. You see, my father is a very important person. Even today he’s out on safari’s killing animals for hide and meeting dark colored people to listen to their funny click-clocking languages. 

“Penny we must civilize the world even if the people who don’t ask for it.” He says to me. I can just imagine him right now riding on a majestic rhinoceros his head held high as he glides through the tall jungle grass. He’s probably whistling some Rod steward song (that’s his favorite) while a man named Mkembe is following his fearless leader into the thick like a beautiful African womans hair, searching for the cure for A.I.D.S or something. That’s my dad! Never scared for the good of mankind. Sometimes you have to do stuff that you don’t want to do for the good of man. Sometimes you have to close your eyes and let things happen you know? Even if it feels gross or icky or wrong. “Life isn’t about what YOU want Penny.” My dad would say. I think that’s an important code to live by. “Do things for OTHER people that way you’ll never become a selfish whore like your mother.” I’ve never met my mother so maybe she did get paid to have sex with my father. I was raised by my nana Claude. A militant Swedish woman who used to be a man but got a really neat operation that magically transformed all her man bits and pieces. She carried a whistle around her neck  and anytime I would make a mistake she would blow it in my face. It’s part of the reason for my fear of marching bands….that and the cymbals. You just never know when they’re going to crash. Any-who! I’m really excited about this super cool thing and hopefully people will read the blogs that I write and become friends with me because there’s nothing like having friends. Even on the internet…it still counts even though you never get to see the actual people or talk to them or hug them or even know that they exist or have any kind of physical contact with them which might even be better because you can’t spread diseases that way. So you can even be friends with gay s! And boy do I love the gays!